HIMprov: A Review...

In addition to my regular improv team, I have a secondary team that I am quite proud of. We call it "HIMprov" and it's a scathing parody of an extremist, right-wing Christian Improv team. Basically, its the show that you would expect to see if the "God Hates Fags" church sponsored an Improv team.

All of our philosophy comes straight from Jack Chick's website. I sifted through tons of his "Chick Tracts" to discover the Truth about Muslims and Jews and Gays and Halloween. And that's what we do all of our scenework about. In dirgish deadpan monotonous deadpan. The dullest, dryest, most insulting improv that we could possibly throw up on a stage.

Except, we also plan elaborate "accidents" that derail the show and end up making it a disaster for the performers as well as the audience. In our first show, a friend of mine, Parrish Morgan came out and played with us. He played Jeremiah Washington, a young, smart, sensitive, college-educated, totally accesible actor who was working with this troupe for the first time. He doesn't know that they're religious extremists and they don't know that he's black. Disaster ensues...

On the Chicago Improv message board, I posted a review of our first show. I wrote it as if I was an audience member for the show. And not a participant. The review captures what it was like for an audience member, not in on the joke, to experience our first show, in all of its Hoary Glory. Afterwards, we ran into people at the bar who were amused and stunned by the show. Brad from Sleauburn came up to me and Dave Whalley and said, "Wow, you guys. That was amazing. Very funny on many different levels. Nice work." Someone else said, "I literally couldn't tell if I was watching sketch or improv. That's a compliment."

Here's the review...



How was the show?

Honestly?

It was the single worst show I've ever seen on an Improv stage, anywhere. Ever.

Here's a little breakdown of what I hated about it...

-Every scene, and I mean LITERALLY every scene was dry, boring and flat. These people clearly are not performers. They can't project. They have no subtlety. Every scene began with someone flatly declaring HOW they were going to sin. And then a devil would appear and encourage them on. And an angel would appear and talk them out of it. Sometimes a "kindly passing Christian" would intervene and share the Lords message. The sinner would break down and cry and repent their sins.
That was EVERY scene. Of the entire "montage".

They sweep-edited EVERY scene with a hearty "Woosh" and then flew across the stage like Superman. The thing is, every time it happened, they ALL did it. So there was no one there to start the next scene.

And the sins that they covered? Masturbation. Drug Use. Pre-marital sex. Being a Mason (?!?). Being a Muslim.

-The opening was painful. PAINFUL! Pastor Bob is the most boring, listless speaker I've ever seen onstage. He droned on and on about what they were there to do and then took the time to introduce the entire company. He briefly touched upon the past lives of each church member, revealing a past history of drug abuse, suicide, alcoholism, and the one on the end was supposed to have been a "drifter" at some point.

Also, Brad from The Fling was the host for the evening and he gave them a SUPER high-energy intro to the show, getting us excited by clapping and cheering for their "first show". Not that it mattered.
The performers were offstage, visibly praying before they went onstage and ignored the start of their show. We tried to sustain the energy of the intro by clapping and cheering louder. But it was wasted on them. They just kept praying for an innordinately long time. Then, they cheered something which had the word "Jesus" in it and took the stage. In a slow, aimless meander. Once they hit the stage, they were certainly high energy and glad to be there, but the journey to take the stage, took FOR-EVER!

-Bob also actively repressed his wife during the course of the show. He mentioned in the 5 minute long intro, that she was subbing in for the Youth Minister. And he really didn't even want her there.
When she tried to initiate a scene, she asked his permission. Which he denied her. When she tried to initiate a scene without him, he actually interrupted the scene to make her get off stage, to let one of the male actors take over the scene for her. EVERYONE was very uncomfortable about that.
The poor woman was resigned to handing out cookies to the audience. Actual cookies, shaped like crosses, with the words "repent" "no sin" and "Jesus" written on them with red icing. The cookies tasted pretty good, but I've never ate a cookie that disapproved of me, morally.

-We found out in the Intro that the church had "Recruited" a new member, Jeremiah Washington. He was, as advertised, a young black actor. He seemed really excited to be there. Whatever racial overtones that Bob had mentioned in his email, weren't apparent onstage.
The show opened with a song about being "Lost, then found" and each member took a turn stepping forward and singing a little bit about how they'd sinned and repented. Jeremiah gamely took the stage and sang about how happy he was to be there with them. While he was singing, they started to "beatbox" and "scratch" under his song, which was, I think, a little tasteless. But he didn't seem bothered by it. At the end of his song, the whole company applauded him and cheered for him. Which made me think that everything was going to turn out right, after all.

Not so.

As the show progressed, the cast repeatedly interrupted him and corrected his performance style. I saw nothing wrong with what he was doing, but the cast sure did. When he reached down to pick up a book in a scene, they actually slapped his hands and explained to him that they did "no object work, because that would be worship of a false idol." He seemed confused by that. So was I.

And that rule, no object work AT ALL, stayed consistent throughout the show. A character would open a door to allow another character in. Instead, they would turn to us and say, "I am opening the door" but not move their arms from their side. Can you imagine an ENTIRE show without ANY object work? Yeah, it's THAT bad.

Tensions with Jeremiah increased until they got to the "robbery" scene. I can't remember what his initiation was, but his scene partner, Micah (who mentioned in the show, several times that he wanted to kill himself. And had tried it, in the past.) immediately assumed that Jeremiah was there to rob him. Someone else walked onstage and assumed it was a "drug scene" and tried to score some pot off of him. Someone else assumed that he was there to "rape the white women" and someone else accused him of being a Muslim and "killing white Christians for not believing in Allah."

Jeremiah was visibly upset by this pile-on of racial sterotypes. He stepped out of the scene and got into a short argument upstage with Bob. The other actors concealed this small tiff behind a new scene, but quickly lost control of the show again, when Jeremiah walked into the next scene and let fly with a river of expletives.

The rest of the cast, visibly recoiled. One of them said something like "they can't help talking like that" which got him even MORE upset. Bob tried to calm things down but made them worse by calling Jeremiah "colored". He looked like he was going to slap Bob.

The guitar player was so uncomfortable that he launched hastily into a song, that signalled the end of the show. Bob ran up to Jeremiah and screamed at him, upstage. I heard him say, "the only reason you are here, is because the handicapped girl fell down some stairs. We don't need YOU!" to which Jeremiah, responded, "Well, then FUCK YOU, you racist MotherFucker! I'll go FUCK your wife in her big white ass! What do you think of that!" and he walked offstage, towing Bobs wife, Betsy with him. Bob was so angry and so scared and so upset that he just stood there and watched them go to the Greenroom.

Meanwhile the cast sang a holy song in the background and Bob went to get the offstage microphone to start the part of the show where they invited us to come worship with them. He was so upset that he had a hard time forming coherent thoughts. And then he had trouble with the mic, not being loud enough.
An audience member ACTUALLY stood up and agreed to be saved. He walked down onto the stage. (I don't know who that guy is. Maybe he was a plant from the church group, but even THEY looked surprised to see him come down.) They laid hands on him and he crumpled to the ground.

Just then, Jeremiah entered the stage again with his coat and scarf. The whole cast stopped singing to see what was going to happen. Jeremiah stared Bob down the whole time and Bob stared back at him. When he got to the door, Jeremiah turned back and looked at the audience and angrily yelled, "This is ALL bullshit!" and left.

Bob half-heartedly went back to the sermon, but the lights were pulled on them, leaving the whole company in a black out. I heard one of them say in the dark, "Was that supposed to happen." When the lights came back up again, the company looked around at each other and then broke into a wild celebration. Except for Bob, who said, "Well, I guess that's it, then." and put the microphone back into the stand. He walked offstage, slwoly shewing a "Cross-shaped cookie" and looking utterly defeated. The cast bowed and left the stage.

We applauded the show. I guess because we were expected to do that, but we were all actually very shocked and upset by what we saw. What started out as an amateur play, worse than Community Theater even, de-evolved into a screaming match and a very clear breakdown of communication. Which actually appeared to cost them a cast member. The guy in front of me, who came in during the middle of the show said outloud to no one in particular, "What the Hell was THAT?"

I tried to sneak outside to check in with them and see how the company was doing. But when I got there, Bob and the cast were already loaded into the van. He looked sad, like he wanted to cry, but said, "I'll email you tomorrow." and then drove back to Gary. Inside the van, the rest of the cast were cheering and singing, having the time of their lives!

It was the singularly worst performance I have ever seen on a Chicago stage. Ever.

I hope they come back and do it again, next schedule.